So far the whole winter has been so cloudy! Awful! And now that we’re having few sunny days it feels like the whole world is smiling. And I feel like smiling as well.
I’ve felt a bit low lately. Usually I don’t envy other people, but recently that feeling has been driving me crazy. It looks like everyone else has their shit together and I just can’t figure out my life. I’m getting older every day and I don’t have a clue what I want to do with the rest of my life. I thought I wanted to be a nutritionist, but now I’m having doubts about it. I’m much more interested in ecological stuff, like consumerism (don’t laugh! I didn’t mean in the shopper’s point of view, but the consequenses of our extreme consuming, and stuff like that). So I might aim at that. But for how long?
Oh, yeah. About the envying part. I don’t envy anyone particulary, but just everyone who seems to have stable, balanced life. People who’ll stick to their plans, who can save money, have routines and you know, all that normal stuff. Like excercise! I go running for two or three months, and just when I’m about to see some progress I stop. Way too boring. I’d rather collect stamps than run one more meter. So I quit. And try to find “a new love.” Even when I’m super bored and down, I can get a kick from the idea of knowing that something new will come up. There will be something I fall head over heels for. I just wish it would be something smart, something useful. So far the good, smart things has been losing weight, saving money, and obsessing over Martha Stewart. Just to name few. (But I never really do even these “the smart way” –> I lose too much weight, I open up too many bank accounts, I order too much MS crap.)
But when I’m not into something I get very bored, I eat too much (candy and other treats), I watch stupid movies, I read stupid books, I don’t get things done, I don’t study, I don’t sew or do crafts. I just suck when there’s nothing sparkly in my life. Oh, well. Anyways, I’ve gotten the envy thing chopped into smaller, bite size pieces and I’m able to understand it more and maybe even use it to make myself feel better. And so now, also thanks to the sun and all, I feel a lot more energized and I feel like doing something, like maybe even studying. That’s always such an energy boost if I manage to do something like that, something like homework for chemistry. It’s so silly. I know so many things that would make me a lot better, but I just can’t get myself to do those things. Instead I make things that make me unhappy. Like being on the computer for hours and watching stupid movies. I hate wasting time! I like being useful.
Enought of that already! So the sun is shining, I got some energy to actually do something! I’ve ordered a lot of (way too much, actually) jewelry parts for my PINKKIS projects – can’t wait for them to arrive! When they come I’m sure there will be a lot of creative energy around the PINKKIS Factory! But meanwhile I need to focus on the materials I already have.
What I’m trying to say the spring might be coming and she’s seems to be carrying a bit of restless energy in her arms. Please, stop by! Share some of that with me!
Had fun day at a fleamarket yesterday w/hubby! I bought a car for my dolls!! A very nice car! Pics coming soon. But before that I’ll share some pics I took this morning!
Have a great start for the week!